What makes this statements bad? and why? What makes the statement good? and why? What do you need to think about when you are writing personal statements?
I think the second one is better because there aren't any spelling mistakes and the person talks about past work experience and the reason why the want to become a teacher. The second parson also talks about whta they have done in the past this shows that this person has more experience than the other. This person also talks about their skills which is very vital when applying for a job and the kind of things the employer looks for.
People have to treat personal statements as if it was an exam, and use correct spellings and grammar as it gives people who read it a impression of you. If the spelling is bad and the grammar is poor, this gives off a bad impression of you to future employers. A well structured Personal Statement which goes into detail about past experience's and what this employee is good at. This will give off a better impression of the person who is writing it.
In the first statement you can automatically see that there are a few spelling mistakes and errors which therefore just make it seem that it isnt a good statement at all where as in the second statement the person talks about their own personal experiences and includes it into their own statement making it seem as if they know what they are talking about and just shows how much experience they have as they are selling themselves more than the person in the first statment.
The skills and abilities are also shown in the second statment which therfore just explains to me how much the person wants the job where as in the first statement you can tell that they are not as into the job as much compared to the second person. To me it just goes to show that the second person's statement is the better statement because it is much more formal
The bottom personal statement is better than the top one as it the top one is'nt really selling them selves for e.g they dont really talk about them selves and they are not saying what they are really good at. However the bottom one has more experiences and really saying how the experience have helped them and how it will them in the future. The first personal statement has spelling mistakes which shows that they are not really interested in the job and they were not bothered to coorect the mistakes.
I think the second one is better because there aren't any spelling mistakes and the person talks about past work experience and the reason why the want to become a teacher. The second parson also talks about whta they have done in the past this shows that this person has more experience than the other. This person also talks about their skills which is very vital when applying for a job and the kind of things the employer looks for.
ReplyDeletePeople have to treat personal statements as if it was an exam, and use correct spellings and grammar as it gives people who read it a impression of you. If the spelling is bad and the grammar is poor, this gives off a bad impression of you to future employers. A well structured Personal Statement which goes into detail about past experience's and what this employee is good at. This will give off a better impression of the person who is writing it.
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ReplyDeleteIn the first statement you can automatically see that there are a few spelling mistakes and errors which therefore just make it seem that it isnt a good statement at all where as in the second statement the person talks about their own personal experiences and includes it into their own statement making it seem as if they know what they are talking about and just shows how much experience they have as they are selling themselves more than the person in the first statment.
ReplyDeleteThe skills and abilities are also shown in the second statment which therfore just explains to me how much the person wants the job where as in the first statement you can tell that they are not as into the job as much compared to the second person. To me it just goes to show that the second person's statement is the better statement because it is much more formal
The bottom personal statement is better than the top one as it the top one is'nt really selling them selves for e.g they dont really talk about them selves and they are not saying what they are really good at. However the bottom one has more experiences and really saying how the experience have helped them and how it will them in the future. The first personal statement has spelling mistakes which shows that they are not really interested in the job and they were not bothered to coorect the mistakes.
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